How to forgive a cheater?
Relationship drama and tantrums are complicated enough to give headaches. And when cheating is added to it, it is more complex and painful for you. While some people can forgive a cheater on their own, others require some help. And this article is for those who want help to know how to forgive a cheater. Seeking help is not a symbol of weakness, so don’t get confused. It is an advantageous skill that will benefit them in the future.
When you find out that your partner is cheating on you, you may feel devastated. But if you are looking for ways to find how to forgive a cheater. Then Congratulation, you have taken a step towards it. But, you should clear a few things before you forgive a cheater.
Read more: How to catch a cheating girlfriend?
When Should You Forgive?
Some people say continuing a relationship with someone who has cheated on you may be an act of fooling. But it is not, until you are sure about it. Different people have different experiences and different thought processes. And forgiveness is more about yourself. Also, it doesn’t mean you need to continue staying together after forgiving. You can forgive the betrayed person and live your life separately. Forgiving is not a sign of weakness.
When you want to heal your pain
If you want to reach the final stage of recovery, then you need to forgive. Couples who stay together without forgiving will not be able to live happy life.
Forgive your infidelity partner not because you can’t let them go but for your own mental peace. Life would be better if you forgive them and live your life either together or individually. You can only reach the final level of healing once you forgive them because complete healing needs forgiveness.
Complete Healing needs Forgiveness.
When they are sorry
When the cheated partner is ready to do everything that makes a relationship healthy, you need to give them a chance.
When you share a bond for a long time
Partners who have been together for years have to think twice before cutting the relationship off. When you stay close to each other for a long time, you know almost everything about each other.
Should I forgive a cheater?
The relationship in which you invest your true feelings and valuable time is tough to end.
That’s why if you asked us this question, then we can’t say anything. It depends on what type of relationship you have shared and what kind of relationship you want in the future. You need to take a deep thought about it.
Things you need to clear before forgiving a cheater
Before forgiving, let’s question yourself a few more questions.
- Do you still love them?
- Will you be able to trust them again?
- Do you want to stay and continue the relationship?
As I earlier says, forgiving needs complete mental healing and recovery. If the answer to the above questions is Yes, you need to heal yourself first. “Healing” in a sense, learning from past experience to avoid ruining your present. And to heal yourself, remember the following points.
Things you need to remember to heal yourself
Know where you stand
What position do you hold in the life of your partner? What can they do to be with you? Do you really think you can live happily with them once they cheat? Don’t you have trust issues? Ask yourself these questions and evaluate.
Don’t try to heal overnight.
Good things take time, and the same goes for “healing.” You can’t get over your grief overnight, so don’t be harsh with yourself and take time to recover. In addition to that, communicate with your partner about your insecurities and share your scary thoughts about the relationship. Don’t pretend to be okay when you are not.
Keep Grudges away
Bury your past in its coffin. Holding grudges will never let you move on. That’s why don’t ask for the affairs or use it as a weapon to demean the partner. Otherwise, you can’t have a healthy relationship.
Don’t ask for details constantly.
If you asked for the detail about the cheated reason, you would only get hurt. Stop imagining and guessing things. Ignore all these things and move on.
Read more: How to catch a cheating boyfriend?
How to forgive a cheater?
It’s very mandatory to have mutual empathy to forgive someone. Forgiveness doesn’t come in a single day; it takes time. You need to be patient. And the feeling of forgiveness needs to come from your inner self, not by the force of someone. If you grant fake forgiveness, both of you will never be happy. And if you forgive your cheating partners earlier, they may feel that they have not made a big mistake. You should make them realize how much you are affected by their cheating. Go through each below point to forgive a cheater.
Accept your emotional and mental state.
Don’t hide your pain because it will hurt you in other different ways. You can be sad and feel grief about the situation. But to forgive, you need to accept your mental and emotional state.
Give some space for yourself and your partner.
Don’t take decisions in a rush. Give some space to yourself and your partner before again jumping into it. Instead, go for a vacation and live separately. It makes you realize the importance of them. You can also think deeply about your feelings, and forgiving will be easier.
Forgiveness is an option, not a compulsion.
It is more necessary if you are trying to forgive and be with someone who has cheated on you multiple times. Make sure the cheater is not taking advantage of your forgiveness.
Communicate with your go-to partner
Communication is the best therapy for every relationship. So, communicate with your close ones and ask them about their situation. You can also take suggestions from those who have previously experienced and survived that situation. You may feel more traumatic and grief when you try to solve your problem on your own.
“Communication is key to healthy relations.”
But if you don’t want to tell anyone about your problem, just dwell with them. Have conversations about other topics such as school days and childhood memory. Make sure you enjoyed the trip. Surround yourself with the people who want you to be happy, your well-wisher, and those who constantly motivate you.
Let go of all the insecurities.
If you want to forgive a cheater, you need to let go of all your insecurities. Once a cheater, always a cheater is a myth. Don’t judge them based on this saying. You need to trust them again. I know it is difficult, but you have to. And your partner also needs to secure you. Only then seeking and giving forgiveness can happen.
“Insecurities will kill everything that is beautiful.”
You may want to look after their phones, watch where they are going, with whom they are talking. But don’t make it evident that you are spying on them.
Instead, you can use a spying application that helps you monitor their every activity remotely.
Don’t try to take revenge.
If you plan and plot to take revenge with your cheating partner, you need to stop yourself right there. Cheating is not okay and not for anyone, but revenge can also destroy and harm your relationship. You need to forget the past and move with the present. If you have a mentality of taking revenge, then forgiveness is impossible.
“Revenge can’t compete with forgiveness. So take revenge by giving forgiveness.”
“However, don’t ever blame yourself for your partner’s betrayal.”
“You need to be understanding” doesn’t mean you need to understand their cheating behavior. It means that you need to understand what goes wrong between you that makes your partner cross over you. Betrayal often happens due to a lack of communication or when the partner feels unappreciated and neglected. If you put your work first and start taking your partner for granted, they might feel hurt. As a result, they begin to find ways to split ways. Though it doesn’t mean cheating is okay. But if you want to live happily with them, you need to understand what went wrong in the past and stop the blame game.
Don’t bottle up your feelings. Just express it loud. If you want to cry, shed tears. If you want to bash your partner, do it. Express your anger towards them. Putting every grudge and anger inside doesn’t let you forgive them. So, to forgive the cheater, you need to express your inner feelings. Make sure you are not allowing yourself to be traumatized.
“Expressing your emotions won’t make you weak.”
Consequences of Forgiving a cheater
Having the idea of how to forgive a cheater is not enough. You also need to know the negative results of forgiving them. Let’s discuss that:
May Happen Again
In many cases, a person who cheated once doesn’t cheat again next time. But it is not right in all cases. Those who are willing to break the trust and commitment to the relationship could cheat again. Betrayers may become habitual about their behavior. It is the obvious drawbacks that people can encounter after they pardon their cheater partner.
Ongoing tormenting reminders
Forgiving doesn’t mean forgetting. And if you continue to stay with the partner who once cheated on you, remind their betrayal. So, you might remember your bad past experience with them.
No matter how often the person apologizes to you and promises not to do it again, you can’t entirely forget everything.
Robs you the opportunity to be with a deserving partner
It is better to live a life in separate ways than together once you find your partner is cheating you. But if you decide to be with them, you may lose a chance to live life with a deserving partner. There are many people in the world who are searching for trustworthy and healthy relationships with loyal partners.
Cheating doesn’t mean you need to end the relationship. If you can, you need to forgive the cheater. If you cannot trust your partner once they cheat on you, you can watch them by using monitoring software.
“Transparency between partners leads to a successful relationship.”
Make sure everything is clear between you two. And keep in mind that “Cheating is either choice or an option, but not a compulsion.
Read more: Signs your spouse is cheating you