Communication Is the Key to Good Parenting
Communication Is the Key to Good Parenting
As a parent, we all are looking for the way to better our parenting. Sometimes we go far and beyond to excel in our parental skills and still have no clear answer. However, with proper communication between you can your kids can be the key to good parenting.
Children who have effective communication with their parents are more likely to do what they are told. Such children understand what to anticipate from their parents, and once youngsters understand what is expected of them, they are more likely to live up to these expectations. They are also more inclined to be cooperative if they feel safe in their position within the family.
Your interactions with your children can improve the quality of your relationship with them as well as the degree to which they grow up feeling safe and secure. Hence the key for good parenting is communication.
Ineffective or unpleasant communication between parents and children, on the other hand, might encourage children to assume that they are unimportant, unheard, or misunderstood. As a result, such children may start to perceive their parents as unhelpful and untrustworthy.
Why Is Parent’s Child Communication Required?
Kids who feel accepted by their parents are more likely to open up and discuss their concerns and thoughts with them. It is the parents’ responsibility to make their children feel accepted and loved. Parents should also teach their children about different methods of living and communicating in various settings.
Nonverbal communication is very crucial in communicating effectively with the environment around us. It is also critical for parents to communicate following their child’s level of comprehension. Try to use real-life analogies, but avoid comparing your children to others.
- Children who are taught strong communication skills are better able to express themselves and convey their feelings.
- Communication skills can help kids to learn more and communicate with others in a more meaningful way.
- Communicating effectively can increase your child’s social IQ by assisting them in forming good relationships with others.
- A child who can speak effectively verbally may find it easier to communicate effectively in writing, which will likely help him achieve better academically.
- Children with communication difficulties are more likely to develop behavioral issues such as depression, social disengagement, and low self-esteem.
When Should Parents Start Communicating Effectively With Kids?
Building your child’s self-esteem necessitates positive two-way communication. Listening to your child enhances their self-esteem and allows them to feel worthwhile and valued, while words of encouragement and praise are beneficial to them.
It’s never too early for positive communication with your kids. But the communicating skills may vary according to the age group of the kids. So it’s better to categorize your communication level as per their capacity which will hence be a key to good parenting.
Coos, gurgles, and grunts, facial expressions, cries, body motions such as hugging or back-arching, eye movements, and arm and leg motions are all used by infants to communicate.
- Respond to infant communication as soon as possible (e.g., comfort a crying baby, smile at a smiling infant, and relax if a baby turns her head to the side).
- Provide context for infants’ attempts at communication (e.g., “You’re wailing, therefore I know it’s time for your bottle”). “You’re grinning because you enjoy it when I tickle your toes!”).
- When dealing with early newborns, use a sing-song, high-pitched voice, exaggerated facial expressions, and wide-open eyes. Infants’ attention is drawn to this type of action, which helps them stay focused on communicating.
- Make the most of the times you and your baby are facing each other (diaper changes, feedings, and mealtimes) by talking, singing, or gently tickling the baby. Adult faces interest infants, and they enjoy looking at them when they are close.
- Pay attention to an infant’s emotional expression style, preferred degree of activity, and social bias. For example, some babies are calm, watchful, and prefer to engage with adults. Other infants are more emotional and active, and they crave constant human connection and attention. Effective communication will be more accessible if you recognize each infant’s personality.
A toddler’s vocabulary maybe around 200 words, and he or she can begin to put words together to form rudimentary sentences. However, it’s challenging to master the language and sentence structure, and your toddler will make plenty of blunders.
- Respond to toddlers’ linguistic efforts swiftly and predictably (e.g., “You’re pointing at the fridge; is it time for some juice?”). “Bah-bah, does that indicate you want your blanket?”).
- Build phrases around toddlers’ one- and two-word utterances (for example, “Hot, that’s right, the pizza is hot”). For example, “Are your jeans blue with white stripes, or are they blue with white stripes?” “Do it once more? Okay, I’ll continue to push you on the swing “(Imaginative paraphrase).
- Keep a habit of note down to keep track of your toddler’s new words. Then, other adults can read the diary and apply the words in talks with the youngsters.
- Give children one way at a time and give them advance notice of transitions (e.g., “We’re going to Grandma’s house in five minutes”). A five-minute period has passed. “All right, it’s time to get ready; go get your coat from your room.”).
- Label toddlers’ feelings (e.g., “You feel sad when you fall and get harmed.”) “You’re delighted when you’re playing with your cousin S!”).
- Better start daily routines by talking toddlers through the sequence of events (e.g., breakfast, lunch, and dinner). For example, “We started by filling the bathtub with warm water. Then you remove your clothing and enter! “(Imaginative paraphrase).
- Follow their lead and let them generate the play when you’re playing with toddlers. Describe what toddlers are doing during play to them and give them control (e.g., “Oh, you’re driving the vehicle up the sofa, and it’s now collapsing! The truck arrives to transport the car to the garage “(Imaginative paraphrase).
- Explain why you want something to happen to older toddlers when telling them what you want (e.g., “I told you to pick up your blocks and put them away, Erica. Anyone tripping and falling over them is something I don’t want to happen “(Imaginative paraphrase).
- By the time your child reaches the end of primary school, their language skills and capacity to communicate ideas have greatly improved. They even change their speech to fit the situation. For example, they may speak more officially in front of a teacher than they do with family and friends.
What Can Parents Do for Effective Communication?
Now that we know that communication is the key to good parenting, now the question is what can you do to create effective communication between you can and your kids?
Ensure you’re a good role model for your child if you want him or her to be a good listener. Take the time to listen to what they have to say. It’s reasonable for busy, distracted parents to tune out a noisy toddler from time to time. However, you transmit the message that listening isn’t vital and that what your child has to say isn’t relevant to you if you ignore him or her all the time.
Be a Good Listener
Listening needs to be learned and sharpened. Effective communication necessitates the ability to listen. Parents who listen to their children demonstrate that they are interested in and concerned about what they have to say. Here are some helpful hints for becoming a better listener:
Keep eye contact at all times
Parents that do this demonstrate to their children that they are engaged and interested. Minimal eye contact may send the opposite message to children, implying that their parents are uninterested in what they have to say.
Remove any distractions
When youngsters exhibit a desire to speak, their parents should give them their full attention. They should put their work aside, face their children, and offer them their entire attention. Suppose parents, for example, continue to read the newspaper or watch television while their children try to connect with them. In that case, the children may feel that their parents aren’t interested in what they have to say or that what they have to say is unimportant. If a youngster expresses a wish to talk when the parent is unavailable, parents can set a later time to communicate with their children. This way, communication can be a key to good parenting as well.
Close your mouth and listen
While their children are speaking, parents should aim to keep disruptions to a minimum. They can offer support without interrupting, for example, with a smile or a touch. Unfortunately, interruptions frequently disrupt the speaker’s stream of thought, which can be highly frustrating.
Make your children aware that they have been heard
When children have completed speaking, parents can demonstrate that they have been listening by restating what they have said in slightly different wording. “Boy, it seems like you had a great day in preschool,” for example. Not only will this show children that their parents are paying attention. This will also explain if the parents are misinterpreting the message their children are attempting to convey.
Speak With Clarity
When responding to their children’s queries, parents should try to provide as much information as possible, especially if the subject is one with which they are uncomfortable. This does not imply that parents must provide much information. It’s only essential that parents understand how much information they have access to.
They must first determine what their children require and then provide it to them. Parents should make sure that the information they give their children is appropriate for their age group. Asking questions is something that parents should encourage their children to do. This will assist parents in determining what information their children require. When youngsters aren’t given enough knowledge, they may come to judgments that aren’t always correct.
Use Words to Encourage and Praise
Words of encouragement and praise are incredibly beneficial to children. For example, you could say something like “Way to go!” or “Way to go!”
- You did a fantastic job on that;
- You did a fantastic job on that;
- I’m incredibly proud of you,
- I enjoy playing with you.
- That’s a lovely painting.
- That was a fantastic attempt.
- You’re incredibly considerate.
- Thank you for your assistance.
- You have a fantastic memory.
- That’s incredible.
- What a fantastic concept!
- You’ve done it!
- Let’s get started!
Need to grow the trust factor in between
Assume your child did something terrible and informed you of it. Assume they failed to complete a crucial research paper that will determine their final grade. They will fail if they do not finish it on time.
In those circumstances, most parents would be triggered. We place unreasonable expectations on our children. When they become distracted from the goals, we are disappointed and show it to them.
Let us not classify our children as failures simply because they displayed a flaw. Instead, why don’t we rally behind them?
Don’t get me wrong: you should never encourage poor behavior in your child. Make no excuses in front of their teacher. However, it would help if you concentrate your efforts on assisting them in overcoming this difficulty. Instead of expressing dissatisfaction, express your belief that they can improve. There is always space for improvement, no matter what difficulty you are dealing with.
Why Should You Speak in a Positive Tone?
Here are three key reasons why the tone of your voice and the words you choose can make communication a key to good parenting, and interactions far more positive and fulfilling.
Your Child Will Be More Likely to Pay Attention
This is fundamental logic. Which do you prefer: someone who speaks to you in a harsh or critical tone or someone who speaks to you in a calm, rational, and pleasant manner? Even if there is a disagreement or you need to correct anything your child is doing, a soothing voice, even if firm, is more likely to get your child’s attention, and she will be more likely to listen to what you have to say.
Harshness Doesn’t Work
You’re less likely to obtain positive results and may even destroy your relationship if you yell or speak harshly to your youngster. Indeed, research suggests that yelling can be just as detrimental as a harsh discipline. Sure, your child may listen in the short term, but speaking respectfully is the preferable way to go if you want your child to develop the skills he needs to govern his behavior.
Our Actions Teach Our Children
Speaking well to your child is the surest method to get her to speak nicely to you. And what if you repeatedly criticize and scold her? You can probably guess what you’ll get out of that.
You’ll Be Able To Have A More Solid Relationship
You’ll build your bond with your child if you treat him or her with respect and care. When you speak to your youngster, say “Thank you” and “Please,” and make it clear that you expect him to do the same. Mean words and a harsh voice will drive you apart; treating each other with excellent manners and respect will bring you closer.
Helps Your Child to be More Respectful
When you speak to your child in a pleasant tone at home, she will naturally do so at school and in other situations. It won’t be long before others notice your child’s lovely manners and pleasant demeanor, and she’ll be proud of these qualities, which will serve her well throughout puberty and beyond.
What Should Parents Avoid While Communicating with Kids?
Nagging and lecturing
By keeping their talks with their children brief, parents can avoid nagging and lecturing. It’s also essential for parents to remember that there’s no need to repeat it once they’ve told their children something. When their children do not accomplish something they have been told to do, parents should employ a punishment other than nagging (for example, time-out)—children who are nagged or lectured stop listening and become defensive or resentful.
Interrupting and Criticizing
Before speaking, parents should allow their children to finish what they’re saying. It’s just a matter of ordinary decency. Children who feel they can’t get a word in edgewise with their parents may choose to stop communicating with them entirely. This way, communication turns out not to be a key to good parenting.
Parents should refrain from condemning their children’s feelings, beliefs, or ideas, as well as the children themselves. Children sometimes interpret such remarks as personal attacks, which can lead to low self-esteem. Instead, parents should condemn their children’s behavior or what they’ve done rather than the children themselves when required.
Reminiscing on the past
Parents should attempt not to bring up a problem or conflict again once it has been resolved. Allowing children to start over with a clean slate is a good idea. Unfortunately, parents repeatedly remind their children of their mistakes to lead their children to harbor grudges for a long time. Furthermore, youngsters must understand that once a thing is resolved, it remains resolved.
Using guilt to exert control over children
This entails attempting to make children feel guilty for their feelings, thoughts, and behaviors. Unfortunately, parents who use guilt to control their children may end up destroying their relationship with them.
Making use of sarcasm
When parents say things they don’t intend and suggest the reverse of what they’re saying with their tone of voice, they utilize sarcasm. For example, when a youngster breaks something, a parent could say something like, “Oh, aren’t you grateful?” Children are harmed by sarcasm. Sarcasm is never a good tool for parents attempting to communicate effectively with their children.
Teaching your children how to address problems
This occurs when parents interject and teach their children how to accomplish things rather than allowing them to participate in problem-solving.
Children may assume that they do not influence their lives if their parents advise them how to address their difficulties. As a result, such children may believe that their parents do not trust them. Alternatively, kids may dislike being told what to do and hence fight their parents’ commands.
Disregard towards children
Name-calling, ridiculing, criticizing, blaming, and other forms of criticism are all examples of put-downs. Insults are counterproductive to successful communication. In addition, insults can harm children’s self-esteem. Children whose parents ridicule may feel abandoned, unloved, and insufficient.
Threats are rarely effective. Children are frequently made to feel powerless and resentful of their parents as a result of them.
Use of lie
Parents should not make up a story to avoid talking about uncomfortable things like sex, no matter how tempting it may be. Instead, parents should make an effort to be open and honest with their children.
This will encourage children to have communication with their parents openly and honestly which is a key to good parenting. Children are also quite wise. They are typically adept at detecting when their parents are not entirely truthful with them. This can create a sense of distrust.
Denying the feelings of children
Parents should not make light of their children’s feelings when they tell them how they feel. If a parent believes their child should not be sorry about losing a baseball game, for example, he or she should not say so. Instead, parents could say something encouraging, such as, “I know how much you wanted to win. It’s difficult to lose at times.”
This can be accomplished with younger children by utilizing simple, concrete language. First, parents must be supportive of their children’s emotions. When it comes to their feelings, parents must show their children compassion. Children would feel misunderstood by their parents if this is not done.
How to Bridge the Communication Gap between Parents and Kids
Give your youngster your undivided attention
When the youngster requires your assistance, strive to be available at all times. If you are not present at such moments, it may pose a difficulty for your child’s average growth. Always be the first to talk to them about their difficulties as communication is the key to good parenting. Try to participate in any activity that your youngster enjoys.
Take the lead
Take the initiative to work with your children since it will strengthen your bond with them. Always strive to have one-on-one talks. Even if the situation is challenging, try to maintain your calm when speaking with your child.
If you are under stress, stop making the situation worse.
If you are sometimes really busy, try to help the youngster comprehend the circumstances and try not to be stressed about minor matters.
When you make a mistake, apologize
Feeling guilty and expressing it openly in front of youngsters will help them develop the habit of recognizing their errors and apologizing when they are wrong.
Demonstrate interest of kids in what they are saying
Avoid doing your task while the child is talking about something. Instead, pay attention to what they’re saying. Never attempt to interpret when they are expressing their emotions. Instead, always make it clear to them what your concerns are about them. Always pay attention to your child’s nonverbal and indirect expressions.
Better never argue.
Don’t be afraid to express your thoughts, but don’t try to persuade them. Always maintain your calm and recognize that children learn from their own experiences and mistakes. Please encourage them to express themselves. Please make an effort to make friends with them.
Improve your child’s self-esteem. Appreciate your youngster for the little things he or she does or learns. Always be there for your children, just as Shadow is for a friend in distress.
Understanding and trust are built via effective communication. And when you and your kids understand and trust one another, you will be better equipped to collaborate to support children’s well-being and growth. This is why excellent communication is an essential key for good parenting and building and sustaining positive connections with kids.
Different families are likely to react differently to your communication techniques and support. As a result, being conscious of how you connect verbally and nonverbally with families may be beneficial. For example, if you speak a different language than your family, you may need to rely more on nonverbal cues. For example, a grin can sometimes be more effective than vocal communication in developing a trusting relationship with parents.